May 13, 2014 / by Alisa Hafen / No Comments


Each day presents us with new experiences and challenges. I find one of the greatest challenges I face each day is finding enough time to do the things I want to do – and need to do – whether it be at home or at work.

I am sure most of you agree that some of the most pressing problems facing our families today are bad movies, books and language. Years ago, these would have shocked us. Today, they barely get a second glance.

Whether I am speaking with my family or at work, there are certain subjects I am uncomfortable with. Because the world seems to be changing so quickly, I find I need to talk to my children about those touchy subjects – we all know what they are.

And yes, it is uncomfortable, but you have to get it out there so you know where their heads are…… and they know where your head is.

I speak on safety often – at times, it is still difficult – because it is a reminder of what put me in this chair. It’s also a reminder of something else: a conversation I needed to have with my wife several months after my accident.

This would be the hardest thing I would ever have to do – I would have to ask Shondell to leave me.

My recovery involved so much of her time – and her strength – not just her emotional strength, but her physical strength as well. We had two young boys to raise and we lived and ran an elk ranch. This had been my dream – our dream.

I felt that was all gone now. How could I ask her to give up her dreams of a large family, of walking on a Hawaiian beach with her husband, when it was my split-second decision that put us here?

Those of you who know Shondell know that she would never leave. And I am grateful each and every day that she has stayed.

Has it been easy? Of course not – every day, challenges present themselves. But we approach them together. Has the subject ever come up again?

For me –yes.

We make the best of each day. But I never forget what put me in this chair, because it just didn’t shatter my dreams – dreams of playing ball with my kids, of dancing with my wife, of having a large family…… it shattered hers as well.

And yet, we have created and accomplished new dreams. I have coached my kids – we have been to Hawaii – Shondell strolling and me rolling!!!

And we do have a larger family. We adopted our beautiful Gracee from Guatemala nine years ago and we are adopting another little girl from Africa very soon.

Our dreams are coming true – they are just different dreams.

Communicating our thoughts and feelings – which may not always be easy – brought us to this place. I hope it will get each and every one to your destination as well.