Wings May Be Pretty, But I Want My Legs Back

Most recently I received an email with the above title. Here is what It read…and my response~

Chad, how do you do it? Maybe you had more money than I do, maybe you have more support, but I have yet to sprout my wings and I still want my legs back. In November I was in an accident that left me with a spinal cord bruise from C4-C7. I am paralyzed from the chest down-from just above my breasts. My left arm functions fairly well but I have no hand or finger movement yet. I can raise my right arm from the shoulder but that's about it. I am in a power chair. Doctors paint the grimmest picture, my husband wants to leave me, I'm living at my parents house right now because he doesn't want me home, I have two young girls that I love dearly but are having some behavioral issues because of mine and my husband's situation, I don't know where I'll be living once the summer is here, and although I am glad I'm alive for my girls, I feel life in this condition sucks. I am very impressed that you're able to move on and be successful and that you have a wife that is sticking with you. Tell me how to be happy. Tell me how to find wings when it seems like I don't have much to fly for. How do you accept being like this? I just can't. I just can't help me learn how to survive. Lynne

My Reply-

Hello Lynne!

Can I first say THANK YOU for the courage to write me. It is indeed a pleasure to hear from you. It sounds as though you and I have much in common. Many of the same physical limitations (if that is how one chooses to look at it), same kind of family life, same kind of accident; And I would dare say many of the same thoughts.

Lynne, let me forewarn you, You asked me some straight forward questions. This deserves straight forward answers. I don’t have all of the answers. But I’ll share with you a few thoughts. Also, one more note before I continue….”loved the title of your email”! I’ve thought the same thing many times!

Here is the deal- You want something you’ve lost and can’t currently have; And you are dwelling on it. I’ve done it many times. And I’ve been miserable because of it. But forget about me for a second. When I dwell on all I’ve lost, my entire family, including wife and kids, are miserable as well. Parents, brothers, a sister, grandparents, etc. are miserable too. How selfish is that? I’m not saying to pretend to be happy. I’m saying find happiness by thinking about what you still have, and possibly can get back (your marriage, two daughters, etc.). The ‘pretty wings’ will eventually sprout and take care of themselves. What if you could affect the attitudes of your family by first looking at your own.

Lynne, I’ve read your email very carefully. You’ve actually written the answer in your email, and you probably are not even aware of it.

In your mind you know what you need to do. The question is: Are you willing to have the courage to do it? You’ve got the desire…you wrote me. Take it one step further. The days will become better. That I can promise you.

One last thought: I’ve been out 8 years and am still trying to sort things out and get through the few rough days here and there. You’ve only been paralyzed less than a year. You’re much further ahead of the game than I was. That’s impressive!

God bless you and your family Lynne. Now go love em’ and be their mother!

Chad

Ps- ALWAYS Have an open mind and DISCOVER WHAT MOST NEVER DO IN THIS LIFE

- The power of family
- The gift of love
- The capabilities of being different
- The resource of meeting new friends
- The willingness to ask for help
- Power of Gratitude
- The opportunities that come when you get out of your comfort zone
- And so the list seems to go on and on and on……………..